I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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