Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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