508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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