please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
