In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
