Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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