how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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