what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
