There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
