Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
