i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
