butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Why is your signature on my underwear?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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