you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
