and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
