Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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