Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize