I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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