you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
