im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Less talking, more tequila
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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