he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
This is my gift to your gina
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize