my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
soo... how was my night?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
