I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Is Oprah even human
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
