I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
