I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she peed on how many people?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
