either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
