Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
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the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
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I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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