i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
