OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
