I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
