Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
