i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
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