Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
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No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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