just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
