Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
