Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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