Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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