Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
