i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
