i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
