I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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