trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
