i permit you to call me
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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