The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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