stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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