being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
