Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
