dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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