in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Randomize
