Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
