Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
