You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
