just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
