I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
