She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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