considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
