we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We have started to decorate penises.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize