watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
