seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
