Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
