don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He felt like a one man threesome
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
