I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
