It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The air was thick with penises
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
