I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
