my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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