You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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