That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
