We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
