i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
