but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
