these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She announced her abortion via fbk
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
