question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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