I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I need water and some morals
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
